darknessstillremains

Sometimes, i think that my heart is literally shallow.
why is it so easy to touch the bottom of it?
idk why i'm having this feeling now when you're still loved, much less forgotten.
i can't help myself.

i love songs. they just keep me going.
they help focus my attention somewhere else so before i could even think, i get sucked into the melody.

you dont realise that what you said actually hurt me, do you?
you said i speak without thinking, speak for yourself.

it's YOUR life. so YOU decide what to do with it. NOBODY will do it for you.

DPP? DDCT??? OR BPT????
OMG.
i don't like to make decisions.

TELL ME WHY? AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE?

are there times whereby you suddenly feel like crying when listening to a song?

The Rose lyrics
Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed.
Some say love it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed.
Some say love it is a hunger
An endless, aching need
I say love it is a flower,
And you it's only seed.

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken,
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live.
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long.
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong.

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed that with the sun's love,
In the spring,
becomes the rose.

this, made me close to tears.

12

i dont want today to come.

gosh, i like to think alot. so irritating.

11 i think.

substitute?

day 9

i dont like to do nothing. i dont like to lie on my bed and not fall asleep, because that is the time where i start thinking the most.


i want time to stop.

day 8 and 9

when someone hurts you, the pain never really does go away.
it just temporarily hides itself and reveals at the most unexpected of times.

day 7

i don't know how to treat you. i really don't.
it's killing me.

day 6.

a lot like love.

5th day

the more you say you want to keep your promise, the more i fear.

i might as well disappear. it will make life better for everyone of us.

today, i've done something stupid.
i didn't know what to do, so before i changed my mind,
i did something really stupid.
fuck, i'm hating myself now.
i must be fucking stupid to do that, even i myself can't comprehend.
i hate myself now.
sometimes i ask myself why must i avoid you.
sometimes i don't even know the answer.
i know what i say now doesn't matter.
cause now i'm just feeling bitter.
bitter because i dont know why i'm doing all this,
bitter because i gave you away.
bitter because i'm regretting it so badly.
bitter because i can't do anything about it.
bitter because i'm not by your side.
bitter because NOW i have no choice but to give you away
you may have no idea what i'm saying but now
my heart aches. i just feel like stoning and sleeping the day away
so that everything is a dream.
if love was so painful, i never want to love again.
or maybe it isn't in the first place,
maybe it's just me.
gosh, why do i hate myself so much.
jealousy is blinding me, but yet i can do nothing but just wait.
she will pull you together, i know she will.
who am i now?
i feel so freaking useless.
but what can i do? i asked for it.
i asked for everything.

by blogging like this everyday,
and not replying your smses, not taking your gifts, not reading your blog anymore and not seeing you,
it feels like i'm typing to an imaginary person.
=(
with no updates of your life, it will feel like you're imaginary.
i'm not gonna regret this, not for now.

this is crazy.
you have the ability to drive me crazy and you know it.
and you just did.

i feel so sad for the girls in dramas. yes, i cry my heart out for them.

4th day

i miss you like crazy
i miss you like crazy.
ever since you went away,
every hour of every day.


Me:" Doctor, but my father complains of acute pain at one corner leh, could it be appendicitis?"
Doctor" Erm, NO. Appendix is at the other side, which is the right side."
Me" OH YA -.-"

I FAIL as a BIO STUDENT.
*light shines on me + thunder at the side *


i've decided, when i grow up, i wanna marry a doctor.:D

i m you like crazy.
:(

RAWR. i'm gonna burst a blood vessel.

FALCON. is cool shyt. :D











cause i just felt like it.

MIURA!!!
he acted in KOIZORA! no wonder he seems so familiar in BLOODY MONDAY.
O.O!

=( i can't upload this to FB.
haiz.


EH. for the latest trailer,
click--> http://mv.baidu.com/export/flashplayer.swf?vid=5a9f6f2264873c2b125a9aad

i can't believe i screamed while watching it -.-
:DDDDDDD

3rd day.

ALLERGY OUTBURST.
goshhhhh. i look hideous now =(

i do not like sleeping at night, it's either it gives me weird dreams that leaves me feeling so out of sorts when i wake up in the morning OR i am unable to sleep until 5, 6 a.m.
=\

OMG LIARGAME EPI 5 IS SO FREAKING COOOLLLL.!!!!!!!
and eerie tooo!!!!
AKIYAMA-san!!! :DDDDDDDD
OMGOMGOMG.
it's rly making my hair stand on ends in the middle of the night!:D

the simplest pleasures of life.

LIARGAME EPI 5 WITH SUBS IS OUT!
SANGKYU TO THE PERSON WHO SUBBED IT!!! :D

OMG.
MY SIS'S FRIEND AND MY FRIEND HAD TELEPATHY IN A FREAKY WAY.
WE WERE BOTH WATCHING THE SAME VID.
THE SAME PIXAR FILM.
THE SAME TIME.
AND THE FUNNY THING IS THAT WE DIDN'T KNOW THAT ITS THE SAME PIXAR FILM
-.-
LMAO.
ANOTHER THING SIMILAR IS THAT THERE'S AN ELEMENT OF LIKE WITH BOTH OUR FRIENDS.
freaky in a cool way.














而我已经分不清 你是友情,
还是错过的爱情.
i won't visit your blog alrdy from tmr onwards. so dont bother updating.

2nd day.

SO CUTEEE~~~~ <3333

he looks like as if he anyhow play, but if you look carefully ALL the chords are correct-.-

this boy is gonna make it BIG when he grows up mannn. hahaha!

and i just realised that thing that he's playing is NOT a guitar. it's too small for a guitar haha.

but i think it's played the same way as the guitar. hmmmmm. it's called the ukulele?>.<

his face at the last part damn classic XD FTW HAHA.

OHOH AND AFTER WATCHING IT FOR THE SECOND TIME I REALISED THAT HE KNOWS HOW TO PLUCK!!! HAHA.

ANYWAYS.

today was a bad day in church.i dont know why but it was very distracting x.x

i kept thinking of ............

haizzzzz.

and YOU, stop lamenting or you'll make me feel sad too. :((((.

haven't you forgotten our promise? dammit. cheer up or i'll get angry.

AND RESTORE YOUR FB ACCOUNT.

-.-

"There's a song in every silence,

Seeking word and melody;

There's a dawn in every darkness,

bringing hope to you and me."

don't you dare feel sorry, or i'll feel sorrier. (:

i wrote that not to let you feel that you're sorry.
it's just that they gave me a talk today.
they believe that I won't do that, but i think i disappointed them.
but i do not regret my actions, it's not because what they say doesn't matter but it's because you matter just TOO much.
So YOU, don't feel sorry because i'm not regretting it.

today had family gathering with the relatives of my paternal side.
it's been long since i saw my cousins.
we talked about games and it was quite fun bahs
just that talking about you sort of became a taboo topic.
i don't know if nic felt the same,
but i felt that it was purposely avoided and it was an uneasy feeling.

my heart aches. ;(
me no like it.

omg. okayyy this is weird. feels weird.

1st day

i woke up from a nightmare.
why does it seem so real?
i woke up feeling empty inside.
and why did u delete your fb account?
burning questions i want to ask.
i m u.


I know i've let my parents down.
i know that they will be disappoint in me.
yesterday, i've done something which i've never done in my whole 18 years of living.

day 0

ON FRIDAY IT BEGINS.

看著你的眼睛
有太多太多泪不停

心疼你每一步爱的艰辛
苦难的梦特别真心.

my saviour

i really thank God for helping me in PIA today.
i couldn't have done it without you.
who says miracles don't exist?

Concrete-encased high school girl murder (女子高生コンクリート詰め殺人事件, Joshikōsei konkurīto-zume satsujin-jiken) was a 1988-89 incident in which a Japanese girl, Junko Furuta (古田順子, Furuta Junko), 16 at that time, was murdered. This incident has a high level of notoriety in Japan.

click here to read more: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Junko_Furuta

i was seriously disgusted after reading it. how can someone be so freaking sick? anyway, i think they were let off lightly, shouldn't they be given the death sentence?!?!? do they even have conscience?in whatever case, the guilt will follow them through out their lives if they ever have any.

forget.

i'm itching to reply. BADLY
but i know if i do, i will get hurt again.
i'm selfish. =(

if i can turn back time,
i would like to go to a JC.
i've got my reasons for that(:








thank you for being there to take my mind off things when i was down(: really.

TERM TEST. hiatus? maybe not.







i hope everything's back to square one.
i'll try my best to go back to the 'old' me.(:
"we were friends once before we became more than friends, so now i'm turning back time."

10.45a.m

I wasn't frantic until i saw Grace's message which goes :
" Denise, be careful of the role play. she'll kill you. she killed all of us."

OK. NO.W IT'S TIME. TO. PANIC.

PATIENT D

IPT ROLE PLAY.

my first step to become a pharmacist.
I MUST NOT SCREW THIS UP. ><
voiceeeee come backkkk, Denise needs you badly.
and my hands are shivering/quivering now.
side effects of Ventolin + nerves ;(









i hope i can let you go(:

biography .

Denise . <3.
me, i, myself .

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EXITS A8G5 Amanda.L Aishah Anna Cassandra Daryl Dineesha Donovan Eevon Eugenia fbi.c210 Genevieve Jasmine Jermain Jessica June Kairu K.Xinying LooKuang Marianne Mervin Pamela Phangling Priscilla Priscilla Tan Shihui Stacy Syai Weineng Weiyang Xinyi Yenny

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June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 May 2010 February 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014

credits

Please do not remove the credits. Thanks(:
Designer: Fly.away
Basecodes: Hiuxing
Icon: toomuch
Hosted: Blogskins