Friday, February 19, 2010 at10:31 PM

i miss you like crazy.
:((((((((((((((((((












"others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars."

Friday, February 12, 2010 at2:26 PM

tears washes the eyes and help me see more clearly.
i havent been able to see whats going on until my mum wrote an email to me. a long one. i read, i replied and i cried. the tears, shouldnt it be salty? why is it so bitter now?


too many things have happened recently and even i myself is obscured by what is happening around me.
i have blamed my parents much for being too much in control in my life and i'm sorry. i realised that i have been too engrossed in the things happening around me that i forgotten and neglect those who are close to me.
sometimes, i even forget who i am.
too much going on. really too much. i have to learn to let go.
i am sad because i cant do anything about you and me at this point of time. but at the same time of being sad, i have made others around me even more worried and sad too. as much as how painful this is to me, i will put the past behind me and move on, as this is causing too much misery for those who love me, including and especially my parents.
i will put on a smile for them.

but yet at the same time, i really still want to keep in contact with you, just as a friend. but when is the right time to do so? you tell me okay?
i'll wait. i mean it. i promise.
so take your time.
i'll wait until the time you really think you can let go what has happened before and start over again, contact me again.
i'll be happy, very happy.

i will try to let go of you too, slowly.
next sem will be a whole different sem together. a sem where i'll be mostly likely with my phenol grp again. and a sem where Pamela will be joining your course. thats why i said things will be different next sem for us.
i am really afraid of next sem.
i have been keeping this deep down inside my heart but i hope that next sem i will be brave enough to face her and you tgt.
i will try my very best.
and when the time comes that i wont feel that bitter biting feeling eating my heart away also known as jealousy, i know i have got over you.



i hope you will see this. all the best for sems. we shall work hard tgt. give me a sign when you see this okay?

Sunday, February 7, 2010 at5:35 PM

i'm so stressed up.

when the rubber band stretches too much, it breaks.
i'm that rubber band trying to keep everything in control.

what parents say about they love both children equally no matter how they try to make it look as though it's true, they can't.
they say, but talk is cheap.
i know they try very hard but it seems to be not the case, not at least if you're the kid.
i dont blame them because it is inevitable but i just feel so indignant.
why?
WHY???

i did voice out. i tried sms-ing them. i tried talking to them. but they said understand them.
well, i tried, but who understands me?
isnt it supposed to be a two-way approach?
how come its not the case?
i give up. i keep it to myself.



i want to live a clear conscience.

Saturday, February 6, 2010 at9:23 PM

guys make empty promises most of the time. they shouldn't be trusted.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010 at4:46 PM

it's been so long since ive blogged.
i can't concentrate when i'm sad.
i'm alone at home and tearing.
great day.