13.10.13
Sunday, October 13, 2013 at2:04 AM
I don't know how to feel right now. 本来应该坚决的决定已经被动摇了。I realised how much I missed you again. and I realised how much I can't do for you. I'm not as good as you think I am. I'm afraid. You've done your part of the deal, you gave me Sarangbit and guan huai fang shi. What if one day we don't owe each other anything anymore? Will I still get to see you? I know I can't be tying you down all the time. It's time to let go, I tell myself, but I can't. I can't keep tying you down with me. Go have a new life. Be happy. Be free. I just have to know that you're safe and happy somewhere, will do. Breaks my heart to see you sad. I know you don't deserve all this. You don't deserve being sad all the time. You said you're not sad but why are you crying everyday? Why must you hurt yourself because of me? Is this being happy? You don't deserve all this shit. You deserve better.
I hate this feeling. I hate this feeling of wanting you to stay. I can't imagine you not here. it scares me. I want you to stay....... I really really want to.. but can I? I hate this feeling. go awayyyy.
