Tuesday, December 15, 2009 at11:06 PM
today, i've done something stupid.
i didn't know what to do, so before i changed my mind,
i did something really stupid.
fuck, i'm hating myself now.
i must be fucking stupid to do that, even i myself can't comprehend.
i hate myself now.
sometimes i ask myself why must i avoid you.
sometimes i don't even know the answer.
i know what i say now doesn't matter.
cause now i'm just feeling bitter.
bitter because i dont know why i'm doing all this,
bitter because i gave you away.
bitter because i'm regretting it so badly.
bitter because i can't do anything about it.
bitter because i'm not by your side.
bitter because NOW i have no choice but to give you away
you may have no idea what i'm saying but now
my heart aches. i just feel like stoning and sleeping the day away
so that everything is a dream.
if love was so painful, i never want to love again.
or maybe it isn't in the first place,
maybe it's just me.
gosh, why do i hate myself so much.
jealousy is blinding me, but yet i can do nothing but just wait.
she will pull you together, i know she will.
who am i now?
i feel so freaking useless.
but what can i do? i asked for it.
i asked for everything.
